Comédia

Chelsea Peretti - Talking During Sex

Chelsea Peretti on people judging her attractiveness level, appropriate sounds to make during sex, and vegan diets. Chelsea Peretti stand up from the Just For Laughs Festival in 2010.
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Comentários

  1. 50 Pence

    50 Pence

    23 minutos atrás

    🙂

  2. Eric Vlahos

    Eric Vlahos

    3 horas atrás

    Omg girls comedians are so terrible

  3. delivrex

    delivrex

    3 horas atrás

    her nose is so jewish

  4. thescowlingschnauzer

    thescowlingschnauzer

    7 horas atrás

    2:28 Ladies and gentlemen, Academy Award Winning Writer Jordan Peele!

  5. F.W. M.

    F.W. M.

    15 horas atrás

    This was actually hilarious up until she mentioned veganism.

  6. tomitstube

    tomitstube

    16 horas atrás

    pretty good until that nonsense at the end. the two things aren't related like she thinks they are. i mean it's okay if you want to joke on vegans, but to connect them to human labor exploitation was a miss, boiling down a complicated issue to vegans hate immigrants isn't very woke.

  7. spirtokouto

    spirtokouto

    21 hora atrás

    Regarding the vegan part of the bit, i understand the comedic value of what Chelsea Peretti is saying, nevertheless, i also know that many people simply do not know how daity reaches their plate - i would honestly suggest you to google dairy production. And, yes, people who care about the lives of animals usually are the ones who care most about the labor rights of immigrant workers - as if cows, by the way, are not raised and farmed by immigrant workers, yet another chapter of discussion.

  8. bosgotnojams

    bosgotnojams

    Dia atrás

    wow that was dark but funny

  9. dalczl

    dalczl

    Dia atrás

    She looks very sexy

  10. I am Smexy_AF

    I am Smexy_AF

    Dia atrás

    She's hilarious and gorgeous. The unicorn combination.

  11. justthatdamnawesome

    justthatdamnawesome

    Dia atrás

    That last vegan joke got me

  12. kevin mchale

    kevin mchale

    Dia atrás

    Imagine how much trouble a male comedian would get in for recording a women's voice during sex

  13. purplepixi18

    purplepixi18

    Dia atrás

    Ewww the sex tape part 🤢

  14. DaSkillaBros

    DaSkillaBros

    Dia atrás

    footage looks like its from 2009

  15. Grant Hackworth

    Grant Hackworth

    Dia atrás

    Immigrant analogy falls apart because immigrants are paid for their labor. Bees and cows are not. Also immigrants don't need to eat the fruits that they are picking to survive. The cows milk is meant for her calves.

  16. sk8friendly

    sk8friendly

    Dia atrás

    Dont hate on the Machine, just BE funny

  17. david Pass

    david Pass

    Dia atrás

    No no no no no no no nonono oooooo

  18. mankilot

    mankilot

    Dia atrás

    am i the only one that doesn't find this as funny as the audience seems to ?

  19. Emma M.

    Emma M.

    2 dias atrás

    "I'm a 40 year old man!"

  20. Duke of Norfolk

    Duke of Norfolk

    2 dias atrás

    Yes, your attractiveness level is rather high.

  21. Hossem Sel

    Hossem Sel

    2 dias atrás

    nine-nine !

  22. Creven Strowder

    Creven Strowder

    2 dias atrás

    Her nose is super jewy

  23. Vlaka

    Vlaka

    2 dias atrás

    Shes looking fine

  24. DON BUTTLER

    DON BUTTLER

    3 dias atrás

    The camel toe gave it away

  25. J Nuy

    J Nuy

    3 dias atrás

    XD

  26. Bob

    Bob

    3 dias atrás

    Is there a face under that nose?

  27. adybv25

    adybv25

    3 dias atrás

    wtf....

  28. お化け

    お化け

    3 dias atrás

    Boring left wing standup comedy gets 705k views is news to me. And when I watch it, I'm just as bored as when I watch boring right wing standup comedy that gets 705k views. Go figure. Political comedy fucking blows. Kill yourself.

  29. GroverKent

    GroverKent

    3 dias atrás

    I hated it when World's Dumbest dumped her, Danny Bonaduce, Leif Garrett, Tonya Harding, Todd Bridges, Frank Stallone, Gary Busey, Loni Love, and so many others.

  30. Tony Quigley

    Tony Quigley

    4 dias atrás

    Why are women not funnny. Thet try SO hard to make men jokes,. Either that they try to make jokes making themselves sound disgusting., They just aren't funny, they're aren't very creative, men are far superioir and 90% morew prolific musicians, painters, artists, everythiung

  31. Singh Amaninder

    Singh Amaninder

    4 dias atrás

    "Holy My Mother"

  32. Kama Kazi

    Kama Kazi

    4 dias atrás

    Am i the only one who sees some bradly cooper in her.... Her face those eyes🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔

  33. greenspan11111

    greenspan11111

    4 dias atrás

    Just get done your nose job at once, and put some slicons too while you are at it!..

  34. SiddyDaddy

    SiddyDaddy

    4 dias atrás

    I did not find this humorous. It was better than another comedian I just watched but just not humorous to me.

  35. Carlo Angel

    Carlo Angel

    4 dias atrás

    Holy Cow, hope that "sex tape" isn't real.

  36. cc12300

    cc12300

    5 dias atrás

    When does the comedy start?

  37. Sitting Pyro

    Sitting Pyro

    5 dias atrás

    Yes some of us do like lace.

  38. first last

    first last

    5 dias atrás

    Wait, is this what a female comedian supposed to sound like? Cause I'm loving it 😂

  39. Dillon's Gmail

    Dillon's Gmail

    5 dias atrás

    Not that funny

  40. Shurchil Guides. News. Gameplay.

    Shurchil Guides. News. Gameplay.

    5 dias atrás

    Traitor left B99. :(

  41. THIZZKITZ // James Fraser Music

    THIZZKITZ // James Fraser Music

    5 dias atrás

    Nailed it. This was hilarious!

  42. Mike Hauncho

    Mike Hauncho

    6 dias atrás

    "Cause they don't have fur, and I'm dumb"

  43. Andrew Massanet

    Andrew Massanet

    6 dias atrás

    Sign of the times: Women can talk dirty, But I can't.

  44. kshitij srivastava

    kshitij srivastava

    6 dias atrás

    Gina is Gina in real life

  45. hyeboi

    hyeboi

    7 dias atrás

    Yeah this is trash

  46. Andromeda Moon

    Andromeda Moon

    7 dias atrás

    Funny, except I don't think she realizes that a lot more crops picked by immigrants feed livestock than vegans. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

  47. +10Wisdom

    +10Wisdom

    7 dias atrás

    Solid comic. Best lady I've heard on this channel for sure.

  48. SaleenDriver [Dane]

    SaleenDriver [Dane]

    7 dias atrás

    Let me know when she says something funny...........

  49. me myself

    me myself

    7 dias atrás

    Yes, I am indeed judging your attractiveness level....soft 7 maybe....in the right light an 8.....

    • me myself

      me myself

      14 horas atrás

      +Robert Fieldsand your interest in my personal "would I fuck her" scale is disturbing. But I'll explain further as I'm currently forcing a turd and could be here a while anyways. My scale is based on whether or not I would fuck her as hottness and fuckability are subjective and not always the same. As much time as you likely spend on Pornhub, it amazes me this fact eludes you. Case in point, you may be a physically attractive...whatever the fuck you are, but you seem like a tool. On my scale, you automatically lose 3 points. First, she looks like the type of broad that would blow you BEFORE the date. That alone get's her past a 4. Who gives a shit about a 10 if she's scared to suck a cock in public. Second, she's funny and would likely be fun at the bar after the in car oral. We could hang out and I wouldn't be staring at my watch the whole time. There's another point or 2. Third, she doesn't weigh as much as me. Another point. Fifth, she doesn't have any ridiculous holy shit physical flaws. Yeah that nose could vacuum my apartment, but it means she can breathe good with a penis in her mouth and a lot of my scale is based on oral sex abilities. So while you think she is a 4, I, who couldn't possibly care less about your opinion and am only responding because I'm pooping and killing time, put her at a 7. Fuck I think I just blew a blood vessel. Can't wait for your feeble response.

    • Robert Fields

      Robert Fields

      6 dias atrás

      +me myself Your scale is shit and your standards are desperate. She's a 4.5, at best.

    • me myself

      me myself

      6 dias atrás

      +Robert Fields My scale is all over the place. Soft 4 has a lazy eye and possibly a peg leg. She could give me an erection without drugs or alcohol. She's at least a 7 on my scale.

    • Robert Fields

      Robert Fields

      6 dias atrás

      soft 4, in the right light maybe 4.5. You need glasses

  50. D F

    D F

    7 dias atrás

    That ending was gold.

  51. Brains before BS

    Brains before BS

    7 dias atrás

    I miss her on “Nine-Nine”....”99”!

    • Meme Iselfaneye

      Meme Iselfaneye

      7 dias atrás

      Damn, I fell behind, didn't know she left. Pity, the cast as whole was perfect, any piece missing sucks.

  52. Nick Rff

    Nick Rff

    7 dias atrás

    Oh no Is that? Oh no

  53. I Dislike the new Youtube

    I Dislike the new Youtube

    7 dias atrás

    Are women still pretending they couldn't point at 75% of the males they see each day and say "Hey, lets go hang out, get a bite and a drink then fuck at my place", and it wouldn't happen?

  54. GolfGod 101

    GolfGod 101

    7 dias atrás

    what a schnozz

  55. Jeff Woods

    Jeff Woods

    7 dias atrás

    Hilarious! Lol

  56. Don Atello

    Don Atello

    7 dias atrás

    She copy's anzis Ansari. Fkn unorgional dumbass

  57. Nona Ubiz

    Nona Ubiz

    7 dias atrás

    Very cute AND funny, not a vegan, keeper!

  58. David Drake

    David Drake

    7 dias atrás

    No.

  59. 762x54ralph 762x54ralph

    762x54ralph 762x54ralph

    7 dias atrás

    This is so bad it's embarrassing.

  60. Yevrah Hipstar

    Yevrah Hipstar

    8 dias atrás

    You're hot as Chelsea and I'm picturing you in a lace G. I'm drooling like Homer Simpson.

  61. Doginu

    Doginu

    8 dias atrás

    Beak of the week!

  62. Larry Pyatt

    Larry Pyatt

    8 dias atrás

    Hilarious 👍👍👍👍👍

  63. Alen Men

    Alen Men

    8 dias atrás

    Boooooo boooooo boooooo This is boring as hell.

  64. Michael Brannan

    Michael Brannan

    8 dias atrás

    That's really rude to vegans. I'm vegan and I don't feel the need to tell everyone about it.

  65. William Savich

    William Savich

    8 dias atrás

    Maybe its just that function in particular but she kinda seems like she bombed.

  66. Alain Bruno

    Alain Bruno

    8 dias atrás

    She is hilarious 👏👏

    • ryandc ranchdel

      ryandc ranchdel

      8 dias atrás

      I like her personality

  67. Dan ny

    Dan ny

    8 dias atrás

    She's a pretty lass....no idea why she's hung up about that

  68. Khasab

    Khasab

    8 dias atrás

    wow that nose side on looks like a turkey

  69. typedef

    typedef

    8 dias atrás

    The only slightly good joke was the "vegetarians eating immigrant-picked vegetables" one. Other than that I stared at a wall like an idiot for 5 and a half minutes.

  70. James Crawford

    James Crawford

    8 dias atrás

    Killer last line!

  71. Freddmeizter

    Freddmeizter

    8 dias atrás

    Terrible.

  72. packson jollock

    packson jollock

    8 dias atrás

    She thinks that she's attractive? I suppose you have to have a bit of an ego to get on stage in front of a group of people

  73. Matlockization

    Matlockization

    8 dias atrás

    Turning liberal politics into comedy is not funny. No wonder I haven't heard of her.

  74. uptown funk

    uptown funk

    8 dias atrás

    great set. I laughed, a lot.

  75. tmhwriter

    tmhwriter

    8 dias atrás

    Someone needs to work up the courage to tell her while she is still young: She needs to have a nose job.

  76. Jacob Seeger

    Jacob Seeger

    8 dias atrás

    Wow another unfunny female comedian.

  77. Oren Rob

    Oren Rob

    8 dias atrás

    More Chelsea!

  78. Lawrence David

    Lawrence David

    9 dias atrás

    1:00 is basically a Sarah Silverman impression.

  79. Internet Tough Guy

    Internet Tough Guy

    9 dias atrás

    She was hot 9 years ago.

  80. roven 08

    roven 08

    9 dias atrás

    women can't be funny

  81. Katherine Velasquez

    Katherine Velasquez

    9 dias atrás

    The recording had me dead 💀💀💀

  82. William Chadwick

    William Chadwick

    9 dias atrás

    Nice breasts.

  83. Atari life planet Momo

    Atari life planet Momo

    9 dias atrás

    your fucking pig women theres no realy an answer to that besides to deal whit it its your dumb life

  84. Jason King

    Jason King

    9 dias atrás

    The reason we think our world is real is because we have no idea what reality looks like. The world is a simulation/physical zoo/a planet sized ant farm and we’re all essentially the property/characters for beings in a different/higher dimension than us. What we think is our reality is essentially a toy world for another civilization. We’re all controlled via what I call a Sensory Manipulation Cloud (SMC) The symptoms of schizophrenia and dissociative identity disorder THE SAME as consciously experiencing the SMC (something we're not supposed to be able to do, but can do by thinking through your actions always choosing the best/most moral action, strengthening our 5 senses, being loving, working hard and staying lighthearted). For these reasons (and luck) I’m more conscious or experiencing consciousness on a higher level than the rest of society. I meditate a lot, I don’t smoke weed or do any hallucinogens (I do smoke cigarettes). I'm guessing whatever civilization owns us, the ratio their to our existences is Human to Petri Dish or Human to Animal; meaning they're viewing us through completely different paradigm, probably like owning property. Schizophrenia and certain mental disorders are a preemptive crippling of people who they know have a higher chance of having high awareness/ being conscious/being aware of the simulation and the peculiarities that reveal we're in a simulation (Autistic Savants? Highly Empathetic Intelligent people with mental disorders?). Schizophrenia Delusions. These are false beliefs that are not based in reality. For example, you think that you're being harmed or harassed; certain gestures or comments are directed at you; you have exceptional ability or fame; another person is in love with you; or a major catastrophe is about to occur. Delusions occur in most people with schizophrenia. Hallucinations. These usually involve seeing or hearing things that don't exist. Yet for the person with schizophrenia, they have the full force and impact of a normal experience. Hallucinations can be in any of the senses, but hearing voices is the most common hallucination. Disorganized thinking (speech). Disorganized thinking is inferred from disorganized speech. Effective communication can be impaired, and answers to questions may be partially or completely unrelated. Rarely, speech may include putting together meaningless words that can't be understood, sometimes known as word salad. Extremely disorganized or abnormal motor behavior. This may show in a number of ways, from childlike silliness to unpredictable agitation. Behavior isn't focused on a goal, so it's hard to do tasks. Behavior can include resistance to instructions, inappropriate or bizarre posture, a complete lack of response, or useless and excessive movement. Negative symptoms. This refers to reduced or lack of ability to function normally. For example, the person may neglect personal hygiene or appear to lack emotion (doesn't make eye contact, doesn't change facial expressions or speaks in a monotone). Also, the person may have lose interest in everyday activities, socially withdraw or lack the ability to experience pleasure. Schizophrenia/ Dissociative - Delusion Grandeur, Seeing patterns, Highlighted Coincidence, Hearing Voices, Word Salad, Persecution, Inability to Distinguish Internal External Forces. Sudden Loss of Memory, Emotional Catatonia, Extreme Changes in Perception (like you’re in movie, looking at yourself from above) Imagining voices coming from other people or objects EXPERIENCING THE SMC CONSCIOUSLY SMC, Sensory Manipulation Cloud, [ [functions as a manipulable optical illusion, essentially you're living in a PHOTOSHOP/SPECIAL FX bubble]] - an undetectable amorphous cloud made of light, is on every human on earth. Manages our personality in two ways, a thicker membrane that’s closer to the face, and I think it thins out into a cloud further away from the body. The membrane on the face manipulates and shapes our face/emotions/lips movements. The outer cloud alters how we perceive the world. The entire cloud is invisible to all of us for some reason but I’ve started becoming aware of mine a few years ago. This cloud is adjusted by degrees smaller than a pin point to affect our perception ( make the world seem bigger, smaller, affect motor skills by toying with our visual perception, can be adjusted to make the world appear scary/moody, beautiful, cinematic/movie like/slower/faster/ more open/ more claustrophobic, make it look like you have four arms, can subtly highlight certain things to make you form certain patterns/superstitious like beliefs like noticing a certain color everywhere suddenly, make a person look bigger than you [a person looks than bigger than you if you admire or are intimidated by them], subtly/suddenly changing your perception mid-thought so you forget suddenly what you're thinking/brain fart, highlight people or thinking, subtly make the cloud denser in certain places so you don't focus on an object or information. Pay attention to when you read, you'll notice you skip over certain words [this is done to control our paradigms, and what we absorb, I'm guessing after a lifetime of being manipulated this way a person's personality can be guided ]) I’m assuming every human's SMC cloud is unique like an IP address. The SMC densities can be altered to recreate different sensations, Everyone has emotions and each of those emotions have corresponding feelings . The SMC can be fine tuned over and over to mimic feelings and their corresponding sensations, until we're controlled in a pavlovian/reward-response/manipulable way. I don't know why the SMC can't be detected by the typical eye or even scientific equipment. Our gamer can show us images in this cloud, usually based on what you're thinking, so it's easier for you to accept the images. You can form a conversation/theme/dialogue with someone you think is in your head but your gamer just uses something the mind naturally does . When you think a question or statement, your brain thinks of expected responses . Gamers use a self-perpetuated feedback technique based off this brain function where it seems like you're talking to someone but the responses are from YOUR GAMER JUST CONTINUALLY LETTING YOU HEAR RESPONSES THAT YOU NATURALLY EXPECT. ON TOP OF THAT THE RESPONSES YOU RECEIVE TO YOUR THOUGHTS ARE GOING TO BE BASED OFF YOUR PARADIGM/ MINDSET/ EMOTIONAL STATE.

    • Fred Durst

      Fred Durst

      9 dias atrás

      8

    • Fred Durst

      Fred Durst

      9 dias atrás

      9

  85. Nick Hunter

    Nick Hunter

    9 dias atrás

    We've all been there

  86. Erwan Amans

    Erwan Amans

    9 dias atrás

    If you're concerned about immigrants being enslaved, then going vegan is way better than eating meat. The animals you eat are fed, you know.

  87. impractical smoker

    impractical smoker

    9 dias atrás

    Imagine her an Jordan talking while fucking. Ah gross

  88. Luke Russell

    Luke Russell

    9 dias atrás

    The silence after “are you guys judging my attractiveness level”

  89. Olle Fjällström

    Olle Fjällström

    9 dias atrás

    Only breathing during sex.. nothing else...

  90. Stephen M

    Stephen M

    9 dias atrás

    SHE'S JORDON PEELE'S WIFE?!

    • Stephen M

      Stephen M

      9 dias atrás

      also, her top is see-through

  91. Dougie Sealy

    Dougie Sealy

    9 dias atrás

    That vegan joke was lame

    • Dougie Sealy

      Dougie Sealy

      9 dias atrás

      The rest was funny tho

  92. yyyasi

    yyyasi

    9 dias atrás

    هل لديك مشكل من ضعف الجنسي ؟ 🔥 هل لديك مشكل من صغر القضييب ؟ أقــسم لكـــم الحل لزيـــادة 🔥 في قوتك الجنسية .. ها رقم ذكــتور تواصل معاه عبر الوتــــساب ☎00212649686727☎

  93. Zachary Jones

    Zachary Jones

    9 dias atrás

    dont everybody eat vegetables tho

  94. citizenxgen

    citizenxgen

    9 dias atrás

    fucking terrible

  95. Dylan Caprotti

    Dylan Caprotti

    10 dias atrás

    Was this supposed to be funny?

  96. johnny d

    johnny d

    10 dias atrás

    shes sexy

  97. Pax Arias

    Pax Arias

    10 dias atrás

    That recording sounded very much like Pete Holmes.

  98. Marco Ventura

    Marco Ventura

    10 dias atrás

    Noone is laughing. Do you notice that? Its tittering. You dont go to a place to hear someone be funny to titter. What is wrong with you Chelsea Perretti? People aren't laughing and youre supposed to be a comic, so you suck at what you do? Change your act? Perhaps tell a joke about something other than how much men want to fuck you?

  99. Marco Ventura

    Marco Ventura

    10 dias atrás

    wow women are shallow and obsessed with their looks. drop the act, its not cute anymore

  100. James Minglis

    James Minglis

    10 dias atrás

    that tape had me dying

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